I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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