Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
