Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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