I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
