I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize