It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
