Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
