After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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