should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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