Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?

  (323): View more from California

  Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her

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  (415): Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________? (323): Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her http://tfl.nu/qxlw
  Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (514)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?

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  (810): Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses? http://tfl.nu/v432
  Replies (11) Good night (1081) Bad night (790)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Sacagawea was the original milf.

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  (952): Sacagawea was the original milf. http://tfl.nu/8vpz
  Replies (39) Good night (5278) Bad night (960)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.

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  (787): She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work. http://tfl.nu/8rxz
  Replies (39) Good night (1002) Bad night (4336)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...

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  (407): Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup... http://tfl.nu/530r
  Replies (26) Good night (3518) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.

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  (305): I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/m7xq
  Replies (16) Good night (11883) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.

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  (203): Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina. http://tfl.nu/y3xd
  Replies (20) Good night (7463) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?

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  (815): Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer? http://tfl.nu/917w
  Replies (11) Good night (3521) Bad night (1838)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.

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  (814): I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/b3si
  Replies (13) Good night (1199) Bad night (534)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.

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  (808): My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever. http://tfl.nu/qc0x
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.

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  (907): Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy. http://tfl.nu/fd5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1394) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?

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  (248): spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years? http://tfl.nu/coam
  Replies (3) Good night (1442) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.

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  (405): Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro. http://tfl.nu/hr0t
  Replies (1) Good night (830) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??

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  (903): Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate?? http://tfl.nu/wozc
  Replies (6) Good night (737) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas

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  (716): Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas http://tfl.nu/5ka8
  Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (899)

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