I seem to have left my pride at pride
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?