porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
