No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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