didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Someone shit on the floor
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
home. puking in laundry basket.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He did a backflip because drugs
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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