I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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