she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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