I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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