you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
