My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
