How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
