I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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