The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
