My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize