Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
