Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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