girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
