420 ftw
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
