You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
