High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
