Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
