So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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