i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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