sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
That was before I lit my hair on fire
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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