apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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