Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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