ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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