I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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