i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
