I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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