Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
