everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Mom said you looked used
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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