I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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