I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
