What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
