Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
