they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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