With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
