if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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