i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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