The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
MIDGETS
????
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
