The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
third nipple confirmed
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.