We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just cropdusted the office
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.