It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
false alarm. still invincible.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.