sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Randomize
