I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.