is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"