just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.