really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize