Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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