Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need a beard to bite.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
