I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
