Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
