Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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