ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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