He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
