is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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