Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
