well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
