I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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