I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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