i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
