I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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