Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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